Pam Harris, M.D.

I Have Decided to Still Follow Jesus

I have, as long as I can remember, believed in God and Jesus.  I did not grow up in the United Methodist tradition, but I did grow up hearing the stories of the Bible and knowing that they are true.

But it was not until much later that I learned that “what you know does not matter”.  Rev. Bill Tenny-Brittian wrote an article by that title.  Initially, I, like Bill, was somewhat offended at that assertion.  What was that outrageous statement, a move to relativize everything, to indicate that there is nothing that is true or important?  But that wasn’t the point of Bill’s article at all.  He went on to say, “The fact is, most Christians believe that Abraham Lincoln was the sixteenth president of the United States and their belief that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God carries about the same weight…it makes virtually no difference in their lives.”

And I guess that’s where I was.  It’s not that I wasn’t a “good kid”.  It’s not that I didn’t go to church every week.  Yet I defined myself as a Christian because I was not something else—I wasn’t Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, or Buddhist, so of course I was a Christian.  My parents were Christian, so of course I was a Christian.  But what I knew about God and Jesus made no more difference in my day-to-day life than knowing that Lincoln was our sixteenth president.  

Oh, I thought about God.  But my vision of God was that of the perfect, and probably very angry, judge at the end of the world.  And I was somewhat worried about God’s grading scale for entrance into heaven.  Would we be graded on a curve?  Did I just have to “beat the average” compared with my neighbors to get in or was there some minimum entry requirement that I didn’t know about?  I didn’t have answers to those questions.  I wanted to follow Jesus, but I had no idea how.

It wasn’t until I was in college that a friend explained to me about God’s grace.  That was the first time I realized I couldn’t “work my way into heaven” but rather had to rely upon what God had already done for me.  There was nothing I could do to merit God’s love, but God loved me anyway.  And God alone had paid the price of my sins, had done all that would ever be necessary for us to be in a relationship.  I knew the stories of how Jesus came to fishermen and tax collectors and called them to follow.  And I knew then that Jesus had come for me.  So I decided to follow Jesus. 

As I grew in my personal faith, I was nurtured by Christian groups in college.  But then came medical school and a move to Kansas City.  I was away from my Christian friends for the first time.  And I had to figure out how to follow Jesus in the “real world.”  A friend in my apartment building, who had been a lifelong United Methodist, found Old Mission and invited me along with her to church.  This was the place where I was introduced to a fellow named John Wesley and began to learn more about what God’s grace means. 

I soon met the man who has become my very long-suffering spouse and brought him to Old Mission.  Gloria Slagle played the organ and Rev. Frank Reichart officiated at our wedding in the chapel.  Frank later baptized our girls—this congregation of the United Methodist Church has been their church their entire lives.  And the United Methodist Church has continued to be a place where I learn what it means to receive God’s grace and to give it to others.

The church is the place that I have learned about God’s power—power that helps us through the storms of life.   Just as Jesus’ first disciples witnessed God’s power at work in Jesus, I have seen the power of God at work in your lives, and you have helped me see where God has been at work in mine. 

It was in this congregation that I first began to sense that Jesus was calling me to follow the path to seminary.  Through that experience I continued to learn more about God’s love, grace, and power.  I also learned about God’s ongoing calling on our lives. 

Most of us probably remember some of the stories of the initial call of Jesus’ first disciples: unschooled fishermen, women of less than sterling character, dishonest tax collectors, and people from outside the accepted culture.  Jesus gave each one a personal invitation:  “Follow me.”  Initially, it was easy.  Jesus was on a roll, a popular preacher.   The miracles were pretty cool.  They were special for being Jesus’ followers.  But there came a time when ministry got harder.  Jesus’ wasn’t popular with the ruling authorities or the religious hierarchy.  You might also remember that Jesus’ first disciples faced challenges as they followed Jesus.  There came times where they had to renew their commitment to follow Jesus.  We read in the Scriptures that there were those who fell away when things got hard or when they didn’t understand what was happening.  They stopped following Jesus.

Jesus’ disciples got to the point that they had to make a decision every day, maybe several times a day, to follow Jesus.  It’s not that they didn’t stumble—but when Jesus asked them the question “Are you too going to fall away?” they answered “Lord, where else would we go?” 

Even in their failures, they still had enough faith to come back again when Jesus called.  And it was their supporting one another that helped them become bold enough to go out to tell Jesus’ story to others.  

And that is why I need the United Methodist Church.  I need the church to be a place where I still learn to accept God’s grace and to give it to others.  I need the church to be the place where I still learn that God’s power is always there for me and that it is always greater than any problems I face in life.  And I need the community of the church to support me as I make the decision to still follow Jesus every day.